NOT ME 1

 

@University B

Faculty of Architecture

Damn...

Haizzz…

I ended up standing in front of the faculty of the university Black is attending.





I really don't know anything about Black's friends. I don't know where they usually gather, how they stay together, what they  talk about. Of course I didn't ask Black. Because if he knew I was doing this, he would scold my father, even though we have the same father. Black worries I can't survive.


So I invested in changing my look, wearing Black's shirt, changing my hair color as close to his as possible, piercing my ears even though this is not my style. If Dad sees me like this, he would faint. The neat son and the father who followed Mr. Jutathep * are now like this.



*Khun Jutathep is a Thai film adapted from the novel of the same name. It is a love story of five brothers in an aristocratic family in Thailand. Not only they possess flawless looks, but the Jutathep gentlemen are also outstanding in many aspects, each boy asserts himself with a different profession: the oldest is a professor of history, the second brother is a diplomatic ambassador. The third brother is a doctor, the fourth is an engineer and the youngest is the pilot.




“So cute."


I heard the voice at some distance but I stood still because I thought that the person praised some girl.



“Hey, you go first, I'll follow."


As expected the scoundrels and the headaches of flirting with girls.


“Oye.. Sean.”


The sound of someone shouting behind my back while putting his arm on my shoulder startled me to look back.


“Oh, Black?" - The guy who was hugging me was one of Black's friends named 'Gram'. He talks and frowns.



“Oh ... I can't believe it.” - This is the voice of the second guy named "Yok" who looked surprised.



“Mother--r. He didn't look like Black from behind. I almost charged from behind.” - The last guy to say 'Sean' said a sentence and those words confused me for a moment.

*charge: Charge is used as a verb meaning: attack, attack at close range, rush.



“Why so cute?” - Sean asks and repeats as if he is teasing but his gaze is very calm, didn't seem like joking.



But what ... what is Sean's charge?



“And what the hell are you doing here? Every time I wait at a smoking place. Do you feel like studying today?" - Graham asked and hugged my neck: “You've been missing for 3 days and you have already become  a few centimeters shorter."


Gram's observation startled me. I'm afraid he will find out I'm not Black.


“I… it's about 10 and a half already." I said. In the timetable it says that class starts at 10:30: “Shouldn't we be early?"


“Hey look who took Black's body." - Sean pointed at me.


“Did I do something wrong?" - I am confused.


“Wrong because you're like this. You know the teacher's going to come into class at 11:30 and teach you how to eat.You don't go to class anyway, what's the hurry? Let's go eat...…” - Oh, Gram pushed my head as he said the sentence.


“You've been missing for a few days and you forgot everything?”


“Where did you go?" - Suddenly Sean asked me. When I faced him, I couldn't adjust my mood


     “I… I… ”- Done, I can't think of the reason.


“I asked where did you go?" - Sean asked and looked me in the eye, he was definitely pretending to be a lie detector.


“I was lazy so I stayed at home." - I lied.


“I heard Fern say he saw you get upside down or did my brother(nong) look wrong?” - Sean asked again: “Don't hide stuff from me Black. I won't allow anyone to hit you like that."


“Yeah, me too.” - Gram said and hugged my neck. Sean still looks at me as if waiting for an answer. If I remember correctly, 'Fern' is Sean's second year brother (nong). He is very popular with girls, is a real player. Although he is called ‘Fern’, he is a real man.


“No… nothing." - I denied.


“Sure?" - Sean looks at me again.


“Sure.” - I nodded.


“But when I saw you, I thought you were a girl." - Gram comes to the point where he shouldn't have come to: “You look much smaller.”


“The body can expand. Even if you don't notice, I'm still like that, no need to tell me." - I feel uneasy about Gram. Damn it! If he keeps on pointing out, I will curse him because Sean seems very smart and he will discover I'm not Black.


“So go eat first. Yesterday I was pissed off. Motherf--r! Damn Fern. I drank till I got drunk." - Gram said and grabbed me by the neck. Sean and Yok followed.


“Where did you go yesterday?" - I asked.


“Drinking, the kids hired one. After I finished, she offered wine." - Yok said.


This is a familiar story, isn't it? I feel like my friend Tod's in trouble lately. It's not a coincidence, is it? I know Sean's kind of 'a bottle of wine that can do anything'. These guys don't care about money, but the more you promise to pay with alcohol, the better.t.


“Oh, hey Sean, are you done with Namotasa? " - Gram turned to ask Sean.


“Who the hell is Namotasa? Chanting for you?" - I am skeptical to ask.


"..."


And when I asked that, a deadly atmosphere occurred, and then Yok and Gram laughed.


“Hahahahahaha. Oh! Black, it's still you, but it doesn't add any intelligence. Drinking like a bath and we need to chant? Namo, Sean's lover, nicknamed Namotasa by you. We're going to laugh. How can you forget? Go re-install your brain.” - Gram said and that stunned me for a while. Sean squinted at me suspiciously.



“Lately there are too many things to think about. Sorry, I forgot." - I laughed lightly.


“How's it going, Sean? Has your love reached a dead end?” - Yok asked Sean.


“Like Sean, even a dead end is ready to break the wall." - Gram stretched out his voice.

“Damn what the fuck? I broke up.” - Sean said in a low voice.



“What's wrong? You haven't been used to it in a while? You regret breaking up?” - I said and they turned to look at me.


“Oh, 3 months must be long enough." -  Yok said.



“This time he cried for  7 days." - Gram added and made no one doubt what I had just said.



“It's not a novel that we can't break up with each other.” - Sean turned to hug me to his chest. It made me feel like a woman and I had to push him away with annoyance.


“Then you get out of the way, it's in the way of others.” 


“Yooooo.” - Gram raised his voice and laughed.


“Motherf--r. You Potato* is the best, Black. - Gram said and I shrugged.


*Potato is a famous Thai pop group.


“Of course, I'm always fine."


"Good enough * good guy.” - Gram said.


*Good enough is a Potato song.
    


“Hahahaha.” - Yok laughed again, showing all of his teeth.


“Cough.” - Sean laughed softly.


“Good enough what? Damn it! I'm the best here." - I said confidently.


"For 3 days I didn't see someone, you think I still have a lover?" - Sean said and looked at me.


“…” - I looked at it. Sean grabbed me by the shoulder and kept talking. I didn't have time to think his fingers were on my collar.


“But after three days without seeing me, we  still are  friends."


“Ooiiiiiiiiii.” - Gram's teasing sound made me stop looking at Sean and turn to look at him.


“You scream like that all the time?” - I scornfully cursed him.



“I have been like this for a long time now." - Gram replied without shame.



“Hungry? Let's go eat." - Yok continues to remind us of food.



“All right, let's go!” - Gram said and walked out first.



Yok follows Gram closely, and behind him, Sean and I are walking side by side. I didn't dare look at Sean, so I bowed my face and followed closely behind Gram.



I'm scared of being found out.



@Canteen



“What to eat? " - Gram asked.


“Follow the rate." - Yok said.


“No, a lot of people." - Gram replied.


"What's Sean eating?" - Yok turns to ask Sean.
    

  
“Black.” - Sean replied.


“Huh?" - I frowned at him.


“Hey? ” - Gram said : “I'm going to kick you guys."


“You look at P'Sean's face, your friends make fun of each other, Gram." - Yok presses Gram's head and I wait for Sean to continue.


“I just called that, intending to ask what you want to eat." Sean explained with a blank expression.


“I do not know.” - I look at the cafeteria: “Why don't you two take the place first? Wait a second, no seats."


“What are you afraid of? It's the same old rules as you do.” - Gram said.


“What to do?” - I was confused, but Gram turned to order.


“Auntie, stir-fried vegetables, omelettes, lots of rice. Yes, a lot of rice. It's almost late, Auntie.”


Damn it! Look at what he's doing!


“Aunt, I want to like it. Like it aunt. But I'm not bothering you, just calm down." - Yok continued to bother the aunt.


“Eat what?" Sean asked me again.


“I can't think of it."



“Spagheti?” - Sean asked.


“Oh well. I like, don't you?" - I asked.


“No, but previously you said you hate it. You do not like to eat a lot of grease."


Damn it ...


Here, Sean has found the mistake already. Definitely.


“You...” - The elongated finger pointed at my face making me swallow.


“What?"


"Are you really Black?"


What the fuck !!! Motherf--r! The question was so sharp, sharper than the 7-way news *.

*7-way news is a Thai news item.


“I'm Black. How do you do that? You think my face is like a leather mask that can pull out like in a Western movie? You're talking like I'm a fake.”


“Real?” - Sean looks at me with eyes that I can't read. To be honest, I feel I'm sweating. Can I survive?


“Are you two standing here waiting for Dad to come cut the tape or something? Not buying? ” - Gram turned to ask the two of us after seeing that we weren't calling.


“Like Gram, go order your stuff. ” - I cut off the problem.


“I don't want to eat. I have  already eaten." - Sean told Gram when he came back to order me rice. We have to wait for almost 20 minutes.


"When you're done buying rice, it's time to find a seat." - Gram, Yok and Sean looked at me in unison.


"What the hell?" - I'm confused.



“What the hell is that, Black? Where is your brain? Is it broken? Do you have a short memory? " - Gram pisses me off.


“What?" - I still don't get it.


“Every time you're the one who does it, forgot?" asked Yok..


“Forgot or don't know?” - Sean said a very good sentence that made me swallow my saliva.


“It ... It's not that I don't know. I know, I know.” - I say despite the fact that I don't know anything.


I avoid Sean's eyes and look around. At that time, I caught the eyes of the one who is likely our junior. When the boy made eye contact with me, he immediately took the plate and left with the rice still present. It bowed in apology.


“Sorry Hia* Black. Sit here, Hia."


*Hia is a Chinese word. It's used to refer to an older brother. The junior meant it in a polite way by calling him brother black. It's similar to Phi in Thai. But Hia in thai means a**.


“Yep. Murderous gaze, no words needed.” - Gram sat down there. Sean's still looking at me. I shrugged and went to sit down.


That way I realized that Black was on a mission to chase people away. Damn! Why is my brother as bad as this?


Sean sits down beside me. I just want to say I want Gram, I don't want Sean to sit here. He will definitely catch me!


I ate as usual with a calm expression, trying not to look at anyone.


“Did you just eat rice without drinking water? " - Suddenly Sean asked me.


“Yeah." - I replied.


"Go. Go. Get up and buy some water. I will go with you. "


I'm afraid of you...


"..."


"Why? Are we not close? That's why you don't want to come with me?"



Damn it! I can't say no to words like that.

  

“No. Nothing like that. Let's go.” - I get up and leave the table with Sean. Yok shouted behind him.I get up and leave the table with Sean. Yok shouted behind him.


“Two bottles of water for me and Gram."


"Yeah." Said Sean. When I went to the water counter with Sean, I felt hot because I was so worried. Sean expressed confidence that I am not Black and was trying to find the difference. Even though I look like Black, know everything about family and the basics, but I don't know  the little details about when he's with his friends.



“You don't eat vegetables. ” - Suddenly Sean said: "You almost always fight with Gram if he orders fried vegetables for you. But just now you said you like it. After all, what happened to you? "


I don't understand if I killed his father in my previous life, but he didn't let it go!


“I am human. And people have desires. And today I want to eat vegetables, okay?"


“Yeah. " Sean raised an eyebrow.


“So what do you think? Tell me." - I stopped and stared Sean's face. So he looked at me from head to toe, then from foot to head. My face was still calm but my heart was pounding with fear. Damn it! I'm trying hard.



“Maybe I thought a lot. " Said Sean.


“What do you think?" - I asked again.


“I don't think this is my friend. You look like a different person."


Damn it!


These words, Motherf--r! Straighter than the ruler.


“This is real life, not a novel. A disguise. Are you crazy? " - I cursed him : "Where am I not like me?"


“Whiter, lovelier and smaller." - Sean replies, "Like I said, maybe I think a little too much."


I secretly cursed at Sean. He still does not believe me 100% . Must use the ultimate technique.


I stepped closer and approached his face and whispered.


“I know the code when I call. Want me to say it? Except the three of us, you didn't tell anyone. Even women.”


I continue. Sean is a very personal person, more than the Baiyoke building. For women, he has another  phone number for chatting with special girls. But if you have his personal number, you can contact it at any time. He just tells his friends and only they can call and say the code. If it is a stranger, he will hang up.


“How?" Sean raised an eyebrow at me.


So I pointed at him.


"Are you innocent?"


“...”


Sean was silent for a moment. I mean, this code was coined by Gram, not Sean, but he is the user.


Yeah. I believe you. " - The doubt in Sean's eyes seems to disappear. So we buy water and go back to the table. And when we got back, Gram swore.


“I thought you guys waited for the rain to fall to collect water and bring it back. Mom, I want to die for waiting so long! " - He snatched the water bottle from my hand.


“You're acting* quite well.” - I cursed Gram and the three of them looked at me!

*This word was spoken/written in English.



What's more !!


What did I do wrong again !!!


“Good pronunciation? ” - Gram said, " Since when are you so good at English?"


Hmmm ... That's normal. I studied international science but my pronunciation is new.


“I just thought it wasn't that difficult. ” - I say. "You just need to babble about."



“Is it that simple?" - Yok makes a face which indicated he does not believe me very much.


“Yeah something like that*.” - I unintentionally replied like I rpely to Tod.

*This sentence was spoken/written in English.



"Wha..what?" - Gram was confused.



“Something like that.*" - Sean repeated my words in a similar voice.



“What does it mean? What?" - Gram still doesn't understand.



"It means something like that." - I explained.


“You were lost three days then what happened to the brain? It's like you have become someone else. " - Yok looked at me bewildered: "From the dumbest. Fuck! Suddenly you're smarter than I am."


Black, why are you ruining your family's reputation? How could you be stupider than the kids in this group?



“Come here." - Gram said, "Look what I brought."



Gram took out a heart candy.


What is it again?


“Oh, don't want to!" - Yok refused.


“Oh, coward. Afraid of what? Afraid to be the last one to eat the candy?"


The last one? What?



When Sean saw me bewildered, he asked me again.



“Forgot this?"



I laughed minus for the answer. Sean shook his head and explained.



“Black-handed empty-handed*. Whoever gets out first will eat candy first. The person will then be responsible for ordering the person behind him to eat candy. This game is the one which in first year we've been forced to play it. But now Gram likes to bring in the group."


[T/N: it's game in which everybody throws their hands and the odd one out is eliminated. Example if 3 people threw the hands with palm up( enmity handed) and one person with palm down (black handed), then black handed is eliminated.]


Ugh... Sucking on the same candy?



“Wait, don't play, I don't want to play!" - I exclaimed like a Yok.



“What's it like to win all the time? I'm the one who should be refusing to play." Yok said.


"Come here, don't be afraid. Sean, are you playing?" asked Gram. Sean looked at my face.


"Play."



I don't want to play!!



“Handsome P'Sean wants to play with us this time. Let's see who's going to be in charge of the candies. And who's going to be unlucky enough to suck it in the end? Ha ha. I'll tell you, Yok, if I win, you're dead." - Gram said and laughed.


Damn! Do I  have to eat your saliva?


“Black-handed! " - When Gram cried, we put our hands together and then either tilted our hands up or down according to our own thoughts.



“Sean, Sean's all right. Damn it!" - Gram cries and I feel like my soul is leaving my body.


“Sean, I trust you to choose me next, please!” - Yok made a plea, and I realized the winner would choose the next man in order.


Sean peeled the candy and put it in his mouth.



“P'Sean, can we hurry?" - said Gram.


I keep the awful expression on my face and Gram and Yok are still begging for kindness from Sean. Sean quietly looked at me and ordered the execution.



“Black comes after me."


Why me!!!


Sean pushed the candy out of his mouth and gave it to me.

“Open your mouth."


Noooooooooooooo


We all are boys here, why should we do this?


“Hey, this is a bit too much. ” - I cried.


"Always the first sucker so don't even think it's too much." - Gram pants cursing at me and smashing the scroll down the table.



Oh! Black's the lucky one, but here's what I'm going to do!



“What's so excessive? It's good if I don't use my mouth. Hurry! Or don't want to be close to your friend so you don't want to do it?"



Sean started to find out the fault again, he still half-believed with me.


“All right, I'll eat.” - I suck on Sean's candy for five seconds.


“Does it taste as good as Sean's face? " - Yok asked.


“You want to know why not try it yourself?" - I cursed at him and accidentally broke the mouth candy.


“Hey! Wait, why are you chewing? Yok hasn't played yet. What are you doing? Insulting that handsome person. " - Gram protested fiercely and Yok lit firecrackers to celebrate. He doesn't want to be the third person or the last one to eat candy.


“Okay, I won't play anymore .. ”- Yok takes advantage of the situation.



“You can't play that bad! ” - Gram continued cursing.



"20 minutes left. What to do?" - Sean asked the group. Looks like Sean's the quietest and most mindful man in the group. And I'm definitely second behind Sean. Come on, I'm sure my mind is better than Gram and Yok!


“You hate it, Sean. ” Suddenly Gram said.


"What is that?" - Yok turned to ask him.


“Looks handsome on the outside, his mother, left  plenty of money inside. His mother did not spend all the money to death. As for me, the money is over but I'm not dead yet!"


“Hahahaha." - Listen to Gram, Yok laughs like crazy.


“Ask  Black for money." - Sean said in small voice.



"Borrow it? You forget he's the poorest in the group?" - Gram replied, "Black's just asking for money."



Damn it! I'd love to kick my brother.


Black, look what your group of friends said.


"Have you seen the poor wearing G-Shock?"


I was startled by what Sean said. Damn, he's still looking at me! I can't control the look on my face right now, damn it!


"The type he's wearing costs more than 10,000 baht." - Sean insists again: "I also have one like this at home."


"This is fake! I bought it for 199 in Chatuchak. From where would I get more than 10,000 baht to buy real goods?"


Damn it, can't go on like this anymore. If Sean kept following and biting, he would find out for sure.


"Counterfeit goods? Then take it off for me. "


"Sean, you really... Did you produce G-Shock that in  a glimpse you can tell if the goods are real or counterfeits? I told you, it's a clone. You're not very skilled, you can't see."


"Is it that good? Give it to Gram. He's been craving this form for a long time but he doesn't have any money, hahaha." - Yok half-jokingly half-truthed and laughed at himself.


"Oh yeah, the orange color too, suitable for a hot-tempered person like me. Take it off, can I buy it from you for 199? I will buy it."


Damn ...


You want to use 199 baht to buy this watch that I have spent 13 thousand baht on?


Excessive...


You are too much ...


“Come on, Black, how can you be so stingy with your best friend?" - Yok pushing my shoulder so hard that I hit Sean's shoulder.


“No, I like orange, too. Can I buy you a new one next time? There was only one orange watch left." - I explain.



“Huh, what is it, Black? " - Gram said as he rolled up his sleeves: "I almost died for you, don't you remember? Last time I was beaten, I took the knife for you. Do you remember? Motherf--r! This three-year best friend just needs this watch! "


Gram is like a woman who complains about a bad man and Yok doesn't forget to add fuel to the fire.


"Oh yeah. Three years of fighting is not as good as a 199 bath watch. Alas, sadly for my Gram ... "


Oh, tears are about to fall! If it was really of 199 bhat, would I have been like this? I would have given it. Mommy! This is a birthday present my dad bought me last year. It means a lot to me. I want to cry, I'm starting to get unhappy.



"Hey, shut up, shut up, Gram leave it, your friend is like that.”- Yok patted Gram's shoulder and Gram guy hugged Yok.


"Yok, you are a good friend of mine. I will die for you later."


Honestly, when I learned that Gram had saved my brother's life, I was very touched, okay, 10,000 baht deserves my brother's life, I'm ready for it.


"Here, here. Take it."


I think I tried to show my face while I was talking and took my watch off.



“Yey!” - Gram exclaimed and took the watch in his hand.



“Please exchange, long-term brotherhood! " - Yok patted Gram's shoulder.


"Yeah, let me wear it a few days first. Hahahaha, I owe you 199 baht first. "


"Yeah ..."


Even if you give me 199, it's still not the same. Oh dad, I'm sorry ...


How should I explain to my father? My dad was very interested in me, and I looked sadly at the watch in Gram's hand. At this time, Sean suddenly stood up and took the watch from Gram's hand.


"This! What are you doing? We just now got to touch it, why did you suddenly take it?" - Yok was disgruntled.



“That's right. This is not good, this is not handsome~" - Gram rolled up his sleeves and shook his head back and forth like a boxer. Yok also pretended to be the next coach to help Gram massage. -__-



“Don't you see Black doesn't want to give it to you?" - Sean handed the watch to me, but I just looked and didn't dare reach out his hand.

"Take it." - Sean said.


To be honest, I don't understand it very well. He's the one who sparked this.


“Black, you're not going to take back what you gave me?" - Gram didn't forget to put pressure on me, but Sean blocked Gram's mouth.


"Shut up."


"... Sean's not kidding." - Yok said small. Gram was also horrified by Sean's reaction. The tall man gave me the watch again, and I had to take it and put it back on.



..." - After that, no one was talking at the table anymore, to reduce the atmosphere, I had to fabricate the reason both real and fake.


"Actually, this watch was given to me by my father. You know, I've not seen him in over ten years. The price of this watch doesn't matter, but it means a lot to me."


I speak softly. Even though I'm lying, I think Black feels the same way. On my birthday, if I had given him a gift, it would have been fun. It's like I always wanted my mom to wish me happy birthday. Even though she refused to accept me a long time ago. She always said that she had only one son, Black, and she never let me and Black meet. If it wasn't for me and Black secretly meeting, I'd never have met him.


"Hey, don't cry, I... I don't know..." - Gram suddenly agitated. I realized I was in tears and it wasn't good.


"It's your fault, Yok." - Gram hits Yok's shoulder: "It's all your fault."

“Huh, has the littering festival started already? " - Yok replied.


Sean doesn't say anything, just puts his hand over my head. I'm just too emotional thinking of my brother.


“I'm sorry, I'm thinking of a... My brother." - I almost uttered it, calling my "brother" by his name - Black, but now I'm Black. So I changed the way I called.


"Oh, I'm sorry." - Gram stood up and hugged my shoulder from behind, Yok also ran after Gram, causing me to cry badly. Sean didn't come to hug me, he just looked at me with a caring gaze, as if he understood, then he reached out his hand and clenched my shoulder without saying a word.



Although he didn't say anything, I knew it was different from Gram and Yok.


He's not comforting me, he understands me.